Epic Quest: Social Life

Welcome to Phase Two of Epic Quest.  We’ll be sharing and comparing answers to some general questions that affect us all.  We’d like to hear our readers’ stories as well, so please feel free to jump in in the comments.  This week’s question:

What’s your social life like?  How does that interrelate to your career and/or job search?

DoctorWhom: My social life is pretty dry but not nonexistent.  I sort of have two, my school life and my DC life.  In DC, socialization and networking are pretty much the same.  A lot of my friends are also contacts, and a lot of my contacts are also friends.  And contacts give you tips, names of people to talk to… My family in particular has always been big on helping out friends when it comes to opportunities– being aware of the opportunities, that is.  Friends give you a leg up on getting internships, positions in field work, that sort of thing, but you still have to work for it.  No one’s gonna hire or accept someone who isn’t qualified.

My social life out in Iowa is a bit different.  All my good friends graduated last semester, so anything I do with people who are still in town is completely not-career-related.  At the same time, I’m the only student in the majority of my classes this semester, so I’ve been getting to talk to the professors about my options for the future. But I guess that doesn’t really count as a social life.

Tau’riJedi:
I don’t really have very much of a social life. Most of my socialization is with online friends through blogging, NANOWRIMO and a few other projects, which helps a little on the career path because it provides me with a lot of contacts. It’s great for networking, but it can still be difficult since a lot of the time the people are international. As far as my external social life, I have a lot of social anxiety and I am not very good at making friends, so my socialization is mostly limited to my sister and her friends, and the few friends I maintained from high school. While those connections have come in great for my fiance’s job search, it hasn’t helped much for me, since there are not many full-time job opportunities in the town I live in.

Day-Dreamer:My social life this summer has been slim to none. My boyfriend lives two counties away on weekdays to work, and all my friends in the area went to the university and have graduated and moved away. I email and text a lot to keep in touch, and have made two trips to New Hampshire to visit friends, but essentially live alone, and really worked alone until this new job.

I had hoped that this would give me more time to write and job search, but a lot of the time I was too bummed out. I’m extroverted. I get energy from others, even though personal space is also important to me. I found this new job because of the one friend I have in a hundred miles. Bottom line, is I do better around people.

GodzillaStar: It’s, um, actually kind of empty.  Sadly, I have more friends online than locally – not that there’s anything wrong with that.  But, I do get lonely a lot, and that makes it harder for me to stay focused and motivated.  Also, because I haven’t had a paying job in months, I have to be choosy about going out because everything costs money.  It’s even affected my independent projects.  There are a number of things I’d like to do that require collaboration (such as making a short film), but I can’t find trustworthy people to work with.  There are a handful of people I’d trust, but they all live in British Columbia or the US or England.

  • http://mathtans.ca/ Gregory Taylor

    Okay, I’ll jump in here with a comment. I also have a need to connect with people from time to time, but after an hour or so of being social, I tend to be tapped out, even with friends or family. I certainly don’t go to dance clubs or anything. But here’s an odd chain.

    I met some people through a local anime club (and associated bbs). This ended up hooking me into a gaming group. After sharing “writeup” duties around for a bit, I became the one writing the game summaries. (I’ve also done a lot of secretary work in the past.) Ended up doing something similar for online games, again via the same chain (short recaps of long log entries, basically). Hey, it’s writing, and served a purpose.

    Fast forward a few years. Someone’s looking for a person to come to live games and do writeups, to help keep continuity. My name comes up. I end up hooking into a new group – which already has not only another teacher, but one I’ve actually seen at council meetings. (One of those ‘Wait, I know you, you’re into this too?’ moments.) So now I’ve got a new source of information within my career, but outside of my school and discipline. (He’s also got more experience than me.)

    So you never know where the little things can lead (and really all it cost was a few $10 anime memberships plus transportation… plus I suppose pitching in a bit for pizza from time to time). If one is feeling particularly entrepreneurial, maybe even start up their own group of roleplay/boardgame/anime/drawing thing, meeting once a month or something – then again, I know that’s further than I’d have been willing to take it.

    • TamaraHecht

      That is pretty cool. I’ve tried to launch gaming clubs over the years, but they never “stuck.” It might be interesting to look into what gives a group like that its cohesion and functionality.

      • Scott D

        Some of it is openess of the players. Some is people having the time to spare.

        • TamaraHecht

          I have a few theories, but I haven’t seen them applied in a controlled manner to determine if those are the factors that count.